At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How external is "for external use only"?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
