yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
