It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
