just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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