Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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