I showed him my bush... on skype.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
