so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
