I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
