Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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