Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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