I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
