it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
