Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
