i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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