at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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