I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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