Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
