I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
