No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
