I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
