I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
