At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Found the puke drawer
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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