The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
