you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
