If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This house was built for laser tag.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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