yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
