**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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