Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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