I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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