so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
