I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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