and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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