Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
