he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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