East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
