windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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