Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
