no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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