Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
