none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
