i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
