So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
