Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
