I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
