Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
