Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
