Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
