I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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