worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
