Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im holly from the hills drunk
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
