I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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