dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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